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What is the best quality of a man?

Character traits: Faithfulness, dependability, kindness (67 percent of women said they find it a turn-on), moral integrity, fatherliness (defined as patience and caring and desire to be a dad).

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A good man is brave, right? And strong? And chivalrous? He can replace a ball valve with a gate valve in a plumbing line, right? (That’s not a metaphor, by the way.)

Turns out, if you ask women, none of that ranks very high.

Recent online surveys of more than 1,000 women between the ages of 21 and 54 (one was conducted by Princeton, New Jersey’s opinion Research Corporation; the other was done on BestLifeOnline.com) found that women value personality far more than physical attractiveness. What women want in a man is faithfulness and dependability, a sense of humor, the ability to listen, and a sense of style. Only 13 percent of women cited muscular build as a factor in physical attractiveness. On the other hand, 66 percent of women said moral integrity will “make me quiver."

More From Men's Health

(Quivering is good.)

Here are the top 20 qualities of a good man, divided by category: Character traits: Faithfulness, dependability, kindness (67 percent of women said they find it a turn-on), moral integrity, fatherliness (defined as patience and caring and desire to be a dad). Personality traits: Sense of humor, intelligence, passion (not the sexual kind, but an active enthusiasm in a pursuit), confidence, generosity. Practical skills: Listening (53 percent), romancing, being good in bed, cooking and cleaning, earning potential. Physical attributes: Sense of style, handsomeness, height, muscular build (13 percent), fitness (only 12 percent) This content is imported from poll. You may be able to find the same content in another format, or you may be able to find more information, at their web site.

It can all seem a little daunting. To be a good man, I need to be funny and dependable and I have to listen?

Well, yeah, actually. But, fortunately, none of those requires being a manly man. It just requires being… well, cool. In the attitudinal sense. It requires self-possession. Turns out that women think being in control of your energies and appropriately channeling them is the path to greatness. Calmness may be the right move in one situation. Totally freaking out may be the right move in another. But you can be self-possessed while exhibiting either of those qualities. You can be self-possessed no matter your personality type, too. Ryan Gosling is self-possessed. So is Steve Martin. So is Steve Carell. So is BoJack Horseman (mostly). The Rock is self-possessed. So is Timothée Chalamet. It just takes a lot of self-awareness and the right balance of action and restraint. You can be as self-possessed at your son’s baseball game as you can be at a meeting as you can be in the grocery-store checkout line or on a date.

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Why does the oldest child have the highest IQ?

Firstborns have their parents' undivided attention as infants, and even if that attention is later divided evenly with a sibling or more, it means that over time they will have more cumulative adult attention, in theory enriching their vocabulary and reasoning abilities.

The eldest children in families tend to develop higher I.Q.’s than their siblings, researchers are reporting today, in a large study that could settle more than a half-century of scientific debate about the relationship between I.Q. and birth order. The average difference in I.Q. was slight — three points higher in the eldest child than in the closest sibling — but significant, the researchers said. And they said the results made it clear that it was due to family dynamics, not to biological factors like prenatal environment. Researchers have long had evidence that firstborns tended to be more dutiful and cautious than their siblings, and some previous studies found significant I.Q. differences. But critics said those reports were not conclusive, because they did not take into account the vast differences in upbringing among families. Three points on an I.Q. test may not sound like much. But experts say it can be a tipping point for some people — the difference between a high B average and a low A, for instance. That, in turn, can have a cumulative effect that could mean the difference between admission to an elite private liberal-arts college and a less exclusive public one.

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