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What are the three A's of a relationship?

Deepak Chopra's Three “A”s. Why Attention, Appreciation and Affection are so important in a loving relationship. Neuroscience shows positive outcomes for couples.

therapyduo.com - The Importance of Attention, Appreciation & Affection

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Deepak Chopra’s Three “A”s

Art of Love

We’ve started listening to the online series Art of Love 2011 and highly recommend our email readers follow along while it’s still happening. A segment that really caught our attention was in the Kick-off Webinar, where the presenters speak with Deepak Chopra on his three important “A”s of relationships. We share these here as they’re all ones that arise as issues in our practice.

Attention

Attention means deep listening, being totally present, having empathy, trying to see from our partner’s perspective. It means we’re not in a hurry to give advice and react; not in a hurry to interrupt. Our body language actually shows we are deeply listening. Chopra reports that, according to neuroscientists, when we practice deep listening the amygdala of the person speaking and the hippocampus of the listener start to “cool down” (show less activity). The amygdala is the place in the brain where we process fear and anxiety. So we’re actually cooling down those primitive parts of the speaker’s brain just by listening attentively to them. We’re changing not only their brain activity but the actual structure of the brain, which depends on proteins being laid down and that requires gene modulation. We’re influencing the on-off switches of another person’s genes in their neurons by deep listening.

Appreciation

Appreciating our partner has a direct effect on their health and well-being. Recent interesting data from Gallop shows the following statistics: If a manager criticises his or her subordinates then disengagement grows to 25% and people who work for that manager get sick

If the manager ignores them, disengagement grows to 45%

But if a manager notices a single strength and appreciates that strength, disengagement falls to less than 1% and people stay healthy. (Aside from the disastrous effects on the couple relationship, which is our focus here, economically this is said to cost $280 billion to the U.S. economy.)

Affection

Affection is deep caring and knowing that we are there for the other person. In the language of neuroplasticity, we can say this kind of engagement in relationship rewires the brain in a direction where love actually becomes a healing force. It influences hormones, cell repair, homeostasis (biological self-regulation and self-repair).

Love Is a Powerful Healing

So it turns out that love is the most powerful healing that can happen. And this is so through a phenomenon called limbic resonance. When people are in love their brains are resonating, their hormones are resonating and they are healing each other and monitoring each other’s biology and moving each other in the direction of healing.

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What is the healthiest drink?

Water is the best choice for quenching your thirst. Coffee and tea, without added sweeteners, are healthy choices, too. Some beverages should be limited or consumed in moderation, including fruit juice, milk, and those made with low-calorie sweeteners, like diet drinks.

hsph.harvard.edu - Healthy Drinks | The Nutrition Source

In the beginning, there was water—abundant, refreshing, providing everything the body needs to replenish the fluids it loses. Humans relied on it as the only beverage for millions of years. Milk was introduced with the advent of agriculture and the domestication of animals. Then came beer and wine and coffee and tea, all consumed for taste and pleasure as much as for the fluids they provide. The newcomers—sugary beverages including soda, sports drinks, and energy drinks—offer hydration but with a hefty dose of unnecessary calories that the body may have a hard time regulating. Alternatively, “diet” drinks offer sweetness without the calories, but does that make them a healthy choice?

With so many options, it’s easy to be confused about which beverages are best for our health. Follow the links below for an in-depth look at each, but if you’re short on time, here’s the takeaway:

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