Anxiety, stress, and depression are also common sexless marriage effects on the husband. When a husband is denied sex at home for a long time, his mental health is likely to deteriorate from stress, overthinking, and inability to release the feel-good hormone from sex.
What is the sexless marriage effect on the husband? Can a sexless marriage last? Is it healthy to be in a sexless relationship? What causes a sexless marriage? Should a man stay in a sexless marriage? If you have been looking for answers to these questions, your search is finally over.
Hi. My name is Sean Galla. I am a facilitator of support groups and support forums where we talk about issues affecting men, including emotional intimacy, sexless marriages, and relationships, with more than 10 years of experience. Sex plays an important role in any marriage. When one partner loses interest in intimacy, it can cause issues in the relationship. As a man, it is important to learn more about sexless marriages, the causes, and how they affect you.
If you are a man who finds himself in a marriage with no sexual satisfaction, you likely have a lot of questions. Getting expert advice is fantastic for any married man interested in understanding sexual issues in marriage. This article has all the answers you seek, including information about sexless marriage’s effect on men.
Written by Sean Galla An experienced facilitator, community builder and Peer Support Specialist, Sean has been running men's groups for 10+ years. Read Sean's Full Author Bio.
What is a Sexless Marriage?
A sexless marriage can be defined as a relationship with a lack of intimacy between the couple. Since different couples have different sexual expectations and desires, experts say that any marriage with ten or fewer sexual activity sessions in a year can be quantified as a sexless marriage. However, this is dependent on the couple, as some couples can still enjoy healthy relationship sex once a month or once every few weeks. If your sex life has drastically declined or become nonexistent over the past few months, you can say that you are in a sexless marriage.
According to a study done in 2019, 19% of 659 couples were in what would be termed a sexless marriage. Most of the couples in this category had only been intimate once or twice in the last year, with some of them saying they had not experienced any form of sexual contact for more than a year.
In comparison, about 35% of the couples had experienced sexual intimacy one to three times per month in their happy marriage, 25% said they had sex weekly, while 21% said they enjoyed sexual intercourse a few times a week, which is healthy sex life.
On the other hand, if you’re looking for a guide on When to Walk Away from a Sexless Marriage, follow mensgroup.com now
Causes of a Sexless Marriage
Numerous reasons can cause the frequency of sex to change in a marriage. Most couples struggle with mismatched libidos, which puts a strain on the person with a higher libido since the spouse cannot satisfy or meet their sexual needs.
While mismatched libido is the most common cause of a sexless marriage, many other factors can lead to a lack of sex in marriage.
Some of the most common causes include:
Health issues or a medical condition
Your spouse’s overall physical health or mental health can affect their sex drive and desire for intimacy. Health issues also disrupt normal physiological processes, including arousal for some people. If your spouse has recently gone through a health issue, it may cause a reduced sex drive. Menopause is also a common cause.
If you are looking for tips and guidance on your relationship, read our article Wife Doesn’t Want Sex Anymore.
Childbirth
According to ACOG (American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists), there is no definite time for women to be ready for sex after childbirth, even though most health providers give it four to six weeks. Sometimes, it takes longer for a woman’s body to feel right again for intimacy. Also, having a newborn overtakes the need for physical intimacy for most women.
Stress
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Excessive stress affects a person’s physical and psychological health, including their sex drive. When you are stressed, the brain produces cortisol, the stress hormone, which lowers the libido. Also, stress leaves one feeling tired, tired, anxious, and frazzled, making it even more difficult to desire sex.
Trauma
If your spouse has some unresolved sexual trauma experiences from her past, they can have lasting implications for your married sex life. Sexual trauma makes the brain associate physical intimacy with fear, manipulation, force, and shame, affecting how the body responds to intimacy.
Failed communication
When you have a lot of relationship problems, maintaining a healthy sexual relationship becomes difficult. Some contributing factors to low sexual desire from your partner include infidelity, masturbation addiction, passive-aggressive behavior, unresolved relationship issues, and negative feelings.
There is a lot of misinformation about sex that often leads people to develop unhealthy relationships with the act of a romantic relationship. For instance, most people believe that sex should be spontaneous, which makes most couples wait until it happens spontaneously, but then it doesn’t happen.
If you are looking for guidance on your relationship, read our article How to Deal with A Sexless Marriage as A Man.
Sexless Marriage Effect On the Husband
Sex is one of the things in long-term relationships that foster well-being, continuity, and strengthening of the bond between a husband and wife. When a husband no longer gets sex from their wife, they can experience some side effects.
Low self-esteem
While most men may not admit this, lack of sex at home affects their self-esteem. They see their wife’s lack of sexual desire as a sign of their lack of physical desire for the man. When a man’s sexual advances are constantly rejected at home, they are bound to start feeling undesirable.
Feeling of shame
Men often feel ashamed when sex is no longer served in their homes. This is especially common if the lack of sex is because of the man’s inability to rise to the occasion. The man will avoid any conversation about sex since they feel shame.
Feeling like a failure
A common sexless marriage effect on the husband is the feeling of failure. As it is often said, men are physical beings, and sexual interest is an important aspect of their sexuality. When a man is having regular sex, they develop a sense of fulfillment and see themselves as complete men. On the other hand, if a man cannot get their spouse interested in sex as often as they want, they eventually start feeling like they are not good enough.
Disconnection
Any couple in a sexless marriage will tell you that they feel disconnected from one another. For men, not having sex with their wives over a prolonged time will change their feelings and possibly develop these feelings for another woman willing to meet their sexual needs. This emotional disconnection is often a leading cause of infidelity in marriages.
If you’re looking for tips on How to Get Your Wife to Have More Sex, follow mensgroup.com.
Poor mental health
Anxiety, stress, and depression are also common sexless marriage effects on the husband. When a husband is denied sex at home for a long time, his mental health is likely to deteriorate from stress, overthinking, and inability to release the feel-good hormone from sex. Poor mental health can also stem from the man’s obsession with his inability to meet his spouse’s sexual needs.
Start to see the wife as just a roommate
Once sex stops being part of a marriage, how the man perceives and treats the wife also changes. With time, the two start coexisting like roommates and not a married couple since sexual intimacy is no longer present in the marriage. Without a sexual connection, it is difficult for a man to treat his wife with the same love, consideration, and care as he did before.
Feelings of loneliness
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When a husband does not get his sexual needs met, he may feel lonely. This is often caused by the feeling of isolation stemming from the contract rejection. This is why many married men are lonely.
Isolation
When there is no sex between men and women in a marriage, a man will feel unworthy, lonely, stressed, and frustrated, making him want to self-isolate. This makes the issues worse since the man cannot express his emotions and feelings for fear of being misunderstood and neglected. They see it of no use to keep sharing since sexual intimacy is not there.
If you have been in a sexless marriage for a while and feeling a few or all these issues, it is safe to say that you are going through the effects of a sexless marriage.
Can a Marriage Survive Without Sexual Intimacy?
Yes, a marriage can survive with sexual intimacy. However, this is only possible if both parties are no longer interested in sex. If a couple is not having sex because of a low sex drive on one partner, or one partner is asexual, there is a chance the marriage may not survive unless they seek help from a sex therapist or counselor. This is especially if the union was founded on shared sexual experiences and not an emotional connection or friendship with one another.
The decision to not walk away and instead stay and make the love life work despite the sexual dysfunction lies solely on the two people in the relationship. If you want your marriage to thrive even in the wake of failed intimacy, you can consider joining a support forum for men in sexless marriages.
MensGroup Sexless Marriage Forum
While working on your low sex drive issues privately may be a good idea, sometimes talking to a third party that understands can make the difference in your relationship and help you find long-term solutions. Apart from seeing a marriage counselor or going for marriage counseling, support groups are also important.
You get to meet with people who have been in similar situations and can thus offer guidance and advice from their personal experiences. While talking about your marital sexual frustrations can be humiliating, a support group made up of people who have been in your shoes makes it easier for you to get the help you need. Being part of a support group will give you the mental clarity you need to make the right decision for your marriage and enjoy your sex life again.
Conclusion
If you are stuck in a sexless marriage, the best thing you can do as a man is to join a support group like Men’s Group.
Men’s Group is an online-based support group that ensures you can get help and learn more about sexless marriage effect on the husband. On this men-only site, you will meet other men who have been in sexless marriages and managed to overcome the challenge. You will get helpful sexless marriage advice for men, including how you can enjoy sex again and get your wife sexually interested in you again.
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