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How can I turn my wife in the mood?

Here are 7 ways to get your wife in the mood. Understand it's not all about you. ... Give her intimacy without expecting sex in return. ... Do your best to make sure she is not exhausted at the end of the day. ... Be equal partners in the marriage. ... Support and encourage your wife as a complete human being. More items...

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Frank has been married to Tracy for 15 years and he is frustrated with their sex life. What used to happen every night (and some days, too) has dwindled to a couple of times a month at best. He understands that sometimes hormones mean she isn’t in the mood, but that can’t be why she’s never in the mood. What Frank doesn’t realize is Tracy is frustrated, too. Because while Frank misses sex, what his wife misses is intimacy. The good news is Frank and Tracy both can enjoy intimacy at its most satisfying. But Frank can only get there if he thinks about Tracy’s needs ahead of his own. The same is true for your marriage. Here are 7 ways to get your wife in the mood.

1. Understand it’s not all about you.

The key word in marriage is relationship. The key word in sex is “her,” not “me.” Think about sex in terms of what she enjoys, her emotional needs, her pleasure. It really is in giving that we receive.

Great sex is not transactional; it is relational.

2. Give her intimacy without expecting sex in return.

Great sex is not transactional; it is relational. Even when her hormones say, “I’m not interested,” being present anyway says, “I love you.” So put your partner’s needs ahead of your own (and read 5 Ways to Turn Your Wife on Without Touching Her). 3. Do your best to make sure she is not exhausted at the end of the day. Exhaustion (especially when it’s the result of an unequal workload) is not conducive to lovemaking. Lighten her workload.

4. Be equal partners in the marriage.

This builds on the previous point. Cook and clean together. Make financial decisions as a couple. Share child-related responsibilities. Serve her when she is tired. Be a PTA dad.

5. Support and encourage your wife as a complete human being.

Does your wife know she is admired, valued, respected, and encouraged? Communicate her value to her. 6. Make a list of the reasons you fell in love with her. Now fall in love all over again. Remember the pursuit? Remember the infatuation? Remember how ready you were for that first kiss? Taking sex for granted is a dead-end pursuit. But working hard to grow the relationship may lead to, you know, other things.

7. Take care of yourself and get into better shape.

Take an honest look at your health, your physique, your weight, the way you dress, the care you take. Make an effort.

Sound off: How has putting your wife’s needs first helped to bring you closer together?

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At what age all hair turns white?

Typically, white people start going gray in their mid-30s, Asians in their late 30s, and African-Americans in their mid-40s. Half of all people have a significant amount of gray hair by the time they turn 50.

Salt and pepper, silver, pewter, charcoal. Whatever you call it, gray hair happens to all of us at some point. But why do some people go gray in their 20s while others don’t see the first sign of silver until age 50? If you’re going gray early, what are your options?

What’s 'Premature' Hair goes gray when color-producing cells stop producing pigment, says Jeffrey Benabio, MD, a dermatologist at Kaiser Permanente in San Diego. Naturally occurring hydrogen peroxide can also build up in the hair, bleaching the color. Typically, white people start going gray in their mid-30s, Asians in their late 30s, and Blacks in their mid-40s. Half of all people have a significant amount of gray hair by the time they turn 50. A white person is considered to be prematurely gray if their hair turns gray by age 20; gray before 30 is early for Blacks. Medical Problem? Going gray, by itself, does not mean you have a medical problem, except in rare cases. Contrary to popular belief, stress has not been shown to cause gray hair. Scientists don’t know exactly why some people go gray early, but genes play a large role. Also, a vitamin B-12 deficiency or problems with your pituitary or thyroid gland can cause premature graying that’s reversible if the problem is corrected, Benabio says. Some research has suggested a connection between premature graying and lower bone density later in life. But in 2007, a study of about 1,200 California men and women showed no such link. "Your level of bone density is related to activity level, your weight, your height, your ethnicity. It’s not related to your hair or the things controlling the color of your hair," says researcher Deborah J. Morton, PhD, of the University of California, San Diego.

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