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As many as 40% of physicians marry other doctors. Meet the first married medical school deans in the country along with other physician couples.
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Read More »As many as 40% of physicians marry other doctors. Meet the first married medical school deans in the country along with other physician couples. Shikha Jain, a physician’s daughter, had planned on avoiding marrying a doctor. Given her own plans to pursue a medical career, she wanted to find a mate in a profession with more flexibility. Then, on her first day of medical school orientation at Michigan State University, she met her future husband. Today, Jain, 36, a hematology-oncology physician at Northwestern Memorial Hospital in Chicago, Ill., and her husband of nearly six years, Shakthi Dharan Kumar, 34, a gastroenterologist, are both MDs and raising a toddler together. Drs. Paul and Mary Klotman share their love story of how they met and the early years of their marriage. “Being in a two-physician household, we have different kinds of troubleshooting that we have to do,” said Jain. Childcare, financial planning for retirement, work-life balance, and division of household chores are popular topics in the Facebook group. “Call schedule is a big thing; backup childcare is a big issue that comes up a lot; dealing with holidays when you’re managing family obligations.” Physician couples’ mutual passion for medicine and their high family incomes and demanding schedules can produce distinct advantages and challenges. For Jain, good marital communication and outside support have been key in making her marriage work. “We are very fortunate in that we have a very supportive family,” plus date-night childcare and a backup, on-call babysitter. “The biggest thing we do is share a Google calendar,” said Jain. Medical marriages, like others, can crumble when the stress is on, however. The pressures of physician couples can be unique. Both spouses may be struggling with medical school debt or burnout from demanding professional responsibilities. Michael Coords, MD, now a clinical fellow in musculoskeletal radiology at the University of California, San Francisco, School of Medicine, married in 2010, about a month before he and his then wife started their residencies. Coords soon was working 100-hour weeks. “When you’re an intern, you don’t really have any say over your life,” he said. “There’s not much time to do things with your significant other.” The marriage ended after three years, Coords said. “It’s hard to grow together when you are never together,” he said, suggesting that young physicians consider delaying marriage until they have time to enjoy life with each other. “It’s been great to have somebody who I can discuss clinical issues with … who understands what it’s like when you have a really sick patient.” Sarah-Anne Henning Schumann, MD, MPH
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Read More »Drs. Paul and Mary Klotman share sound advice for navigating the challenges of being a dean and how to stay married to one. While dating, they took residencies on opposite coasts. But a decade after meeting, the pair married and made sacrifices to be together. Handa delayed her fellowship because there wasn’t a location where both could pursue their fellowships. Over the years, the couple continued to juggle the challenges of work and family while enjoying their marriage. Handa cited their inherent understanding of job demands, like patient emergencies. Earlier in their careers, they read each other’s research papers. “That was very beneficial to have that kind of support and help,” she said. While raising two children who are now college age, the Handas never scheduled surgery for the same day. They chose day care over a nanny to force themselves to get home for dinner. And there were days when one or both had to cancel patient appointments because of a sick child. Drs. Paul and Mary Klotman are the first married couple to serve as medical school deans. Today, Handa’s department aims to help physicians with young children balance work and family life. “We try to accommodate those as much as we can because otherwise people wouldn’t be able to be in that role,” she said. The same issue can come up with physician couples caring for elderly parents or siblings. “I think we’re a good team and we figured it out. I’m sure other families did it differently than we did,” said Handa, noting that she and her husband haven’t lived near extended family since marrying. “Other families are lucky that they can utilize their family network to help with raising kids.” In the end, making a doctor-doctor marriage work may be no different than making any marriage work. “We love each other and we’re able to make it work because we compromise,” Jain said. “It’s how you communicate, compromise, and look out for each other as a couple.”
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