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At what point is a marriage over?

"If you're no longer spending any time together, if one or both partners is spending all their time at work, with friends, online — and if feels like a relief not to be with each other — it's a sign that you've already disengaged from the marriage." You don't support or listen to each other.

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There's no question that relationships are complicated. Even the most stable of marriages will go through intense highs and extreme lows. So if you're asking yourself, "Should I get a divorce?" know that you're not alone. A 2015 poll found that half of all married couples have contemplated divorce. And during the pandemic, the number of people interested in divorce has only increased. But determining whether or not your marriage should end is a huge decision. "I have never met anyone who approaches the subject lightly," explains Jen Libby, MSW, LCSW, a psychotherapist who helps families through divorce. "I have also not met many individuals — even in seemingly healthy relationships — that haven't contemplated divorce at some point in their marriage." That said, Libby notes that there are some pretty obvious signs that you should consider divorce. A number of things can weave a path straight to divorce: not putting in the effort to compromise, shutting down emotionally, pushing your partner away, and even seeking intimacy from an outside partner. Some of the signs you should get a divorce, however, are a lot more subtle and may take some time for you to see. Many of these red flags might also point to a need for support, be it from a family member, friend, or marriage counselor, so that you and your partner can be better equipped to work through your issues. But if you do decide to take the divorce leap, consider this: "Coming to terms that the marriage is over and working together [with your spouse] towards a resolution that is fair for everyone will almost always make the process go quicker especially when kids are involved," says matrimonial and family law attorney Elizabeth Rozin-Golinder. Here are some of the most common signs that it’s time to get a divorce, according to relationship experts.

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What is the healthiest personality type?

The healthiest personality traits include stable emotions, openness to feelings, the experience of positive emotions and being agreeable, research finds. People with these traits tend to have higher self-esteem, be more optimistic and find it easier to regulate their emotions.

10 Personality Traits Linked To Better Mental Health

These are the healthiest personality traits, as rated by psychologists.

The healthiest personality traits include stable emotions, openness to feelings, the experience of positive emotions and being agreeable, research finds. People with these traits tend to have higher self-esteem, be more optimistic and find it easier to regulate their emotions. The conclusions come from a survey of both professional psychologists and college students, totalling in the thousands. Both gave surprisingly similar answers to what constitutes a healthy personality, said Dr Wiebke Bleidorn, the study’s first author: “People in general, no matter whether they are experts or not, seem to have quite a clear idea of what a healthy personality looks like.” The study revealed that people with the healthiest personalities have the following traits: Straightforwardness Competence Openness to feelings Warmth Positive emotions Low depression Low anxiety Low impulsivity Low stress vulnerability Low anger hostility

Naturally, those with healthy personalities also scored lower in narcissism and exploitativeness.

However, they scored higher in more healthy aspects of narcissism, such as self-sufficiency and grandiosity. Similarly, on tests of psychopathy, healthy people scored lower on negative traits like disinhibition, but higher on positive traits like boldness.

The study’s authors concluded:

“Individuals with high scores on the healthy personality index were psychologically well-adjusted, had high self-esteem, good self-regulatory skills, an optimistic outlook on the world, and a clear and stable self-view. These individuals were low in aggression and meanness, unlikely to exploit others, and were relatively immune to stress and self-sufficient.”

The study was published in PsyArXiv (Bleidorn et al., 2018).

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